Monday, August 25, 2008

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Redneck Cup Holder

If I've seen it once, I've seen it a million times... and it still freaks me out...
and the Burger King hat just tops it right off, don't it???


RRM/

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Another Use for Duct Tape


I believe this one speaks for itself...
RRM/

Monday, August 18, 2008

How to install: Redneck Security System

HOW TO INSTALL A REDNECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:

1) Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2) Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3) Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4) Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim:
I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took pa rt in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
Cooter

RRM/

Sunday, August 17, 2008

(Not so) Holy Cow!

I am just about speechless on this one... I've seen some BAAAAD tatoos, but this one is, well...
Like I said, I am just about speechless...




RRM/

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Getting all dressed up for Wal-Mart??? WHAT???


I don't think this one requires any explanation... didn't know there was a Wal-Mart dress code, except maybe that you have to wear a shirt and shoes... scary.

RRM/

Friday, August 8, 2008

Microsoft Winders, Bubba Edition





No BULL here.

I am a diverse individual. I am a redneck, yet civilized and somewhat refined. I lift the lid, and I put it back down. I hold doors open for ladies, love God and country, been known to drink a beer now and then, but also appreciate a fine wine. I am the faithful husband of one wife, and she ain't my sister, nor cousin, nor nothing like that. We ain't even related, except for marriage....


I work for a large computer corporation, and have been in the technology field for 18 years. As such, the Bubba version of Winders is right up my alley.... a perfect fit for my tender, yet sarcastic, personality.


I am a paradox... but hey, it works for me... I know who I am, and I am comfortable in my skin. Not trying to climb any ladders (probably leanin on the wrong damned building anyway) nor trying to impress anyone. It's tough enough just being me and living my life without all that complicated manure.

So, if you like the straighforward, comical, warped view of life - well, drop on in, and stay a while. I'd be glad to hear from you.

RRM/

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Redneck Horoscope

Yeah, they are sucha thang... So where do you fit in here?


RRM/ (aka ButterBean)


OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) - Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.


CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) - Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.


BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - Mar 20) - You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.


MOON PIE (Mar 21 - Apr 20) - You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Or - maybe not.


POSSUM (Apr 21 - May 21) - When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems actually running you over.


CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) - Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.


COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) - Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the "melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those round them.. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.


CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) - Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.


GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) - Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.


BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) - You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.


BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) - Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.


ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) - You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.

Why Dawgs and Firecrackers Don't Mix

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Redneck Test... You just might be a redneck...





Wondering if you are a redneck? It's about Heritage, not Hatin'... Click on the word to take the quiz... and post me some lovin' if you dare...
RRM/