HOW TO INSTALL A REDNECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:1) Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2) Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3) Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4) Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim:
I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took pa rt in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
Cooter
RRM/
