HOW TO INSTALL A REDNECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:1) Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2) Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3) Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4) Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim:
I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took pa rt in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.
Cooter
RRM/
5 comments:
Did you make this up? LOL
Most people that come to my house see the chihuahuas and stand back.
They work pretty well too.
aw, that's a scary thought - a pack of chihuahuas... sometimes the little dogs have the most aggression...
A___A_
(0)_(0)
(VVVVVVV)
(WWWW)
RRM/
This post reminds me of a George Jones song from the 90's called High-Tech Redneck:
He's got thirteen channels of wrestling
Comin' in strong from a satellite send
A two hundred function remote control
Big screen TV with stereo
Football, baseball, Nascar too
With picture in a picture it's all in view
And if it comes on just a little too late
With his VCR's he'll get it on tape.
He's a high-tech redneck
Mayberry meets Star Trek
He's a bumpkin' but he's plugged in
He's a high-tech redneck.
He's got twenty sub-woofers in the back of his truck
A thousand watts of power and he keeps it cranked up
He ain't into hip hop, he ain't into rap
He likes to rattle them speakers with Ronnie Milsap
CD cassette digital tape, CB radar and scannin' short wave
And if he needs to talk to his honey at home
He just dials up her number on his cellular phone
He's a high-tech redneck
Mayberry meets Star Trek
He's a bumpkin' but he's plugged in
He's a high-tech redneck.
Thomas - welcome... I know the song well... Thanks for the post, though, to remind me of the words...
RRM/
I don't know if you come up with this by yourself man, but it is funny! you shoudl try to sell some of these jokes to Foxworthy or that other "Getter done" guy.
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